I am so happy today! And to think I'm on duty! Haha! Thank heavens!
I am currently rotating in Internal Medicine as of this posting and suffice it to say that since this rotation started, each day sucked for me for a lot of reasons.
(1) I am not inclined to the Medical field. I am leaning more towards the Surgical field.
(2) I do not like the ambiance of the department in general. There is something in it that I cannot pinpoint that sets me off.
(3) I tend to compare Medicine with other rotations and as we all know, comparison is the thief of happiness. Medicine just loses over Surgery, Ophtha, ENT, heck, even OB-GYN. (Obvious bang gusto ko talaga mag-surgery? Haha!)
(4) I do not like some of the residents in Medicine. Haha! Sorry.
And because I carry all these "bitterness" so to speak in my heart each day since October 1, I really did not enjoy my rotation. It has its glory days of course (as with all other things), but when summing it all up, this rotation gives me a negative balance (parang I&O lang - pun intended).
But today was different. As I mentioned in my previous posts, I have been doing a lot of YOLO-ing, a lot of emo moments, a lot of reading regarding self-motivation and what-have-you's. Because of that, I decided to start my day right. I woke up early, did not reprimand my yaya, and went to duty. And then I went to the chapel to pray and thank God for this day. I went on to ask for forgiveness. I went on to ask for blessing. I went on to seek for His guidance. And it was a refreshing thing for me to do since I feel like I have been so independent for the longest time. I am at ease knowing that I can lift it all up to Him and let Him carry my burden. After the small chat with Him, I tried to study in the chapel since it was the only place in the hospital I know that is soothing, cold, smells like flowers, and most importantly, quiet. Haha! But then, my study was cut short because there were 3 consecutive code blues (will talk about this soon). After which, it was a pretty benign ER Duty Day followed by a meeting of all clerks, interns, and residents of SLMC regarding JCI Accreditation. We had patient endorsements after and then I had patient rounds with my senior resident.
That is actually my typical duty day in Internal Medicine. Pretty much a-okay, right? But because the bitterness and the anger was so fueled up inside of me back then, I didn't really get to enjoy what this rotation had in store for me. Okay, so maybe the residents I work with now also had something to do with it. Haha! I don't really know the answer to that but honestly, I blame no one but myself because I allowed all the negativities to eat me up before.
Anyway, back to why I am happy today. I am happy today for a lot of reasons.
(1) I went to the chapel and prayed.
(2) I decided to smile.
(3) I tried to be open-minded.
(4) I did not entertain negativities.
There are probably a lot more reasons but that is all I can think of as of this moment. And I am happy no matter how mundane it may sound. The lesson I learned today was this: If I change, everything changes. All the YOLO-ing and the emo moments helped me change my outlook in life. My life is way beyond perfect. In fact, I still have several things to tweak to make it a notch above the norm. But the key, I have learned, or more aptly, re-learned (because I knew this already), is choosing to see a better perspective. My perspective back then was focused on the sad, the mad, the drab, and the flab. Right now, I must say I made a better choice by looking at a brighter sunshine ahead. And at this moment, I can confidently shout out to the world that this is the first happy day of my medicine rotation because of one choice I made to change my perspective. What about you? What's your choice?
